Refusing to give consent should never be framed as negative or any less exciting or valid a choice than choosing to give consent for sex acts. And while I’ll admit to rarely experiencing outright exclusion (entitled vibes notwithstanding) at refusing sex in a sex-positive community there is a disproportionate amount of praise for those who consent to participate and support sex/play in sex-positive communities. Saying “yes” is framed as empowering and to give one’s consent is “sexy”. Which can and often does imply that a “no” or hesitation is a problem or “less cool/liberated”. Hesitation and refusal are totally valid expressions of uncertainty and deserve respect. The framing of “consent is sexy” can, in some applications, invalidate this vital uncertainty.
Good article. “Sexiness” is not the right standard by which to value either consent-as-situation (“Wow, I’m really into this!”) or consent-as-practice (“So, uh, do you wanna have sex?”). My response is in the comments.
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein. (via riverran)
#mary shelley #this quote though #it’s all kinds of wonderful #hey remember that time one asswipe was like you have 30 seconds to name something invented by a woman… #…and Mary was like SCIENCE FICTION MOTHERFUCKERS #that was awesome #thanks Mary Shelley (via snappily)
And the next time someone starts claiming that teenage girls have ruined the horror genre with romance or whatever you can be like, hey dicksmack, teenage girls and romance built your genre so sit the fuck down. (via sharpestrose)
Mary Shelley fucking invented your favourite genre motherfuckers. You owe her Kirk and Vader and every goddamned thing Joss has ever done that’s made you cream your pants. Created when she was a teenager cause, hey, that’s how she rolled. She took love and showed it as the powerful, terrifying, all-encompassing, ruthless, wrathful thing it is. (via piinboots)
And I would like to add:
Whenever I remember that Shelley was 19 when she wrote frankenstein I’m like “shit why haven’t I written a best-selling novel that creates a whole new genre yet”
The Onion and other “liberal” White comedians (see @scATX’s comment on “The Bill Maher syndrome”) love to engage in “isms” in their humor and expect not to be called out on it because they are, well “liberals.” They want feminists and other progressives to ONLY focus on Conservatives as…
Seriously, fuck the Onion.
This is a brief post about white femininity, in which I suggest it’s a language of “signs of submission”, and talk about what this means for women who don’t display those signs. I end by discussing “femme”, its benefits and limitations.
First, when I speak about femininity I speak as a white,…